


Lose Everything

by Harmonic_Brush3



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, Friendship, Loneliness, Love, Sad, SnowBarry - Freeform, Snowbarrisco
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-08
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-03-15 12:56:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13613835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harmonic_Brush3/pseuds/Harmonic_Brush3
Summary: Barry's emotions flood him. He can't shake it off. He can't help but feel alone.He knows he damaged his relationship with Caitlin and Cisco.Contains: Snowbarry. Made in support of #BringBackTheOriginalTeamFlash





	Lose Everything

He walked down the corridor, not being able to shake off his feelings. He stared up at the ceiling, his eyes lost within his emotions and his hands flinging up towards his head.  
It's been a year. A year since he almost lost Caitlin to Killer Frost and his friends and family to Savitar. The pain and trauma faded, since he returned from the speed force. And that was nice.  
But there was another feeling, a hard feeling. He didn't understood why he felt it, Barry knew he shouldn't feel it. But, regardless he did.  
He felt lonely.  
Barry remembered feeling like this countless times. After his mom died, he felt it, after his dad died, he felt it, after Flashpoint, that was the worst. He always had Joe, and Iris, who was his former crush that he had gotten over.  
Barry knew he had his friends, Cisco and Caitlin. But over time, they started to fade. They didn't hang out as much, Cisco was fine with Barry, but ever since Dante died, there was always a broken part of their relationship.  
And Caitlin.  
Perhaps that was the one person he managed to mend his relationship with. When Caitlin went through becoming Killer Frost, he always knew she lost some of herself, and that she was struggling with it. And Barry helped her.  
And he was starting to fall in love with her. He always did have feelings for her, even when his feelings with Iris were there. But once he got over Iris, and them eventually Patty, every time he stepped into Star Labs, Caitlin's face just warmed his heart. She was one of the people at Star Labs, that no matter how bad things were, would smile at him with the same bright smile that lightened him up.  
His memories flashed back to a few months ago, when Caitlin was beaten by Amunet. Barry walked into the Star Labs building and saw her stitching herself up.  
"Cait..." Barry said, and he instinctively ran over to her, and knelt beside her, his hand on her knee.  
Caitlin smiled at him, despite her bruised cheek. "Hey..."  
Barry put his hand on her cheek gently. "What are you doing?"  
"Stitching myself up..." Caitlin said, she tried to continue sewing her wound before Barry gently stopped her placing his hand on his and slowly doing it for her.  
"You should've asked me." Barry said.  
She looked at him longingly, and allowed him to patch her wounds. After he finished, he gazed at her with his deep, loving green eyes and slowly pulled himself over to her forehead, and kissed her bruised spot gently.  
Caitlin closed her eyes, wanting more, but she pulled away. Barry got up, and helped Caitlom get up.  
"Hey, want me to walk you home?" Barry asked, just wanting to help his friend.  
"I'm fine..." Caitlin said, as she walked away.  
He stared as she walked out. And he took a deep breath.  
"I care too much about people..." He said as he sighed.  
Memories kept on flashing in Barry's mind as he walked down the corridor of Star Labs. He kept on thinking how Ralph probably saw them as a perfect team, but how Ralph would never realize the hurt they hid from each other. The hurt Cisco hid from him, the constant hurt and fear that he would eventually fully lose Cisco and Caitlin haunted Barry, and Caitlin...She was probably the most hurt of all of them.  
He then saw Caitlin walk out from the elevator in front of him. Her black shirt was well fit, and brown hair had beautiful golden locks that flowed over her shoulders. Her pale moonlight skin, and her eyes brightened as she looked at him.  
The sight of her lit Barry's eyes and he smiled.  
"Caitlin!" Barry said.  
"Hi." She said. "I bet your glad that your out of prison!"  
"Yeah, I am.'' He said.  
In all honesty, he was glad. But, he still felt like he was missing something.  
"Are you okay?" She said, sensing something.  
"I'm...I'm..." Barry said, stuttering, because he couldn't lie to her anymore.  
He decided to stop running from the fear of losing them, and start running towards fixing what they had.  
"What happened to us?'' He asked her. "What happened to the weekly coffee stops at Jitters? What happened to our conversations? What happened to the "Star Labs trio hug"?"  
She looked at him silently.  
"I'll tell you what happened." Barry said. "I ruined it. I made so many mistakes, and I constantly feel the need to atone for all of them. Every day, I walk in, and I look at both of you, and I feel like I've lost both of you!"  
His voice started becoming desperate, his eyes were filled with anger and pain. Barry looked down.  
"I was actually..." Barry continued, his eyes still looking down. "I was actually gonna ask...I wanted to be with you...But, you became Killer Frost, before I could...And there were so many times I wanted to tell you, and know, I regret it, because I could've saved you before, but my fear always damages people."  
He paused.  
"You think you've damaged people." He said. "I damage people."  
"No, you don't." She said back at him. "You were the purest person I've met, the day I met you, I knew that. Unlike me, you've atoned for everything bad you could have ever done.  "  
"You haven't forgiven me." He said. "So, no, I haven't atoned for my sins."  
"I haven't been as close to you, because I love you." Caitlin said, becoming slightly angrier, her emotions were swelling inside her. "I don't want to be with you, Barry, because I'm afraid I'll hurt you."  
Barry stared in silence as he looked towards her. She was slowly shaking her head.  
"If I lose you..." Caitlin said. "Well, when Ronnie died, I lost a part of myself. When I became Killer Frost, I lost a part of myself. If I lose you...I'll lose everything."  
Barry sighed, Caitlin walked by him, but he quickly grabbed her hand. "Wait."  
His hand locked onto her elbow, and she looked his ways. Barry let go of her hand, and stared into her eyes.  
"I lost a part of myself when my mom died, I lost a part of myself when my dad died, I lost a part of myself when I caused Flashpoint and gave pain to you and Cisco." He said, trying to stop the tears. "I will lose a part of myself if I lose Cisco...I will lose everything if I lose you."  
Caitlin stood there, just gazing at him. Their eyes locked, and for that moment, it seemed to be enough.  
"...Summer lovin..." Barry sang gently, as he walked towards her, his hand finding a place on her hip as he nudged her towards him.  
He locked his hand with hers, and they started drifting together in a dance slowly, Barry placed his head on her shoulder, and gently whispered in her ear. "I met a girl...Crazy for me."  
Barry drifted along with her, as he waited to hear the words he really wanted to hear.  
"I met a boy...Cute as can be."  
They slowly just embraced each other in their arms, their hands still locked together. Barry leaned over and his resting hand on her hip pulled her even closer. She inhaled sharply. She was against his warm chest. She splayed her hand against it, intending to push him away, but instead she left it there. His breathing was heavy and it quickened, as did hers. He began nuzzling her neck with delicate kisses. So faint, they were like the soft whispers he murmured on her ears earlobe. She urged herself to push away, but couldn’t. She didn't want to hurt him, but she was in pain, and needed her salvation. Barry's head was angled slightly to the side as his lips came closer and closer to hers. Their lips parted.  Their breaths mingled. Barry's heart fluttered inside his chest. Then his arms encircled her.  
"Let me heal you, Cait..."  
And she let him.

**Author's Note:**

> Comment if you want another chapter with Barry mending his relationship with Cisco.


End file.
